I want to write.
It’s been a while so I am tempted to feel overwhelmed by all the possible topics. I don’t know where to start.
There are literally thousands of jumping off points where a story of some kind would form.
I sit here in this 2800 and something square foot house, completely alone. Julian is at work, Kyle with a friend taking pictures in Austin. The windows are open on this gorgeous spring – wait, it’s technically still winter – day. The sun, the breeze, the smells, the deer meandering through my backyard, two acres in a peaceful neighborhood, in the hill country of Texas; all of these things are answers to years of prayer.
God is so good.
He is patient, slow to act most of the time, and always on our side. He is for us!
Now as I type I think that what I’ve said sounds like such a contradiction to the title of this blog, Life is Rough. But it really isn’t because although God has proven his goodness to me, life at the same time has proven it’s harshness.
I, as assume you too, have lived through so many days that I would never have opened my eyes that morning if I had known what was coming. I have been stretched, bent, and pushed far out of my comfort zone on so many different occasions. I can’t imagine having gone through any of it without knowing that God is good and for me. I’m not strong enough to have held up. I’d have been a paper bag trying to carrying ten pounds of crushed ice on a Texas summer day.
Choosing to focus on any and every good in my life is imperative. It is life-giving.
I’m going to tell you a little secret, I am not a great driver. I get distracted easily. I am the person for whom all steering wheel controls were invented. For me, without them a simple change of the radio station can lead to death. I can’t get a piece of gum out of my purse without going off road in my Hyundai sedan. Whatever I look at, whatever gets my attention, draws me to it.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. – Philippians 4:8
Along with the steering wheels controls, this verse is meant for me. And maybe you. But mostly me.
Yet, even knowing this, I don’t always live it.
Comparison will often derail me along with a few other things. But honestly, comparison is probably my biggest problem.
Everyone seems to have a happier, easier, wealthier, thinner, greener lawn life.
Now, I’m not stupid. I know this isn’t completely true. There may be particular things about certain people’s lives that kick butt over mine. Just as there may be things in other people’s lives that I would shudder to have to live through. No one’s life is perfect. Even the good things in one person’s life may be something I wouldn’t like/want.
Example: A friend posts one of those “I have the best husband in the world” status’ on Facebook. I’m jealous. I just had to remove six coats from the dining room chairs and hang them all up. Again. My husband literally had to walk past the coat closet in order to place each of them on the back of a chair.
All I can think is that my husband is not perfect. He is not the best.
Now keep in mind, I don’t want anyone else’s husband. Especially not said woman’s husband. I just want mine to be perfect.
Ridiculous, I know. I KNOW!
But comparison makes me go there. Ugh!
Focusing on all that is good about him is necessary.
Reminding myself that I’m not perfect doesn’t hurt either.
I have a good life, it’s not perfect and it can be rough at times but it is good. Because God is good.
That’s my story and I’m sticking (clinging) to it.