I hadn’t been a Christian very long when it happened, less than 6 months, if I remember correctly. My oldest son was in kindergarten at a Christian school and I was usually on my best behavior when I was around these Godly people; I never wanted them to doubt my Christianity.
My life prior to knowing Christ had not been an innocent one, to put it mildly. But I was under the assumption it should have been, er… I should have been. These people who worked at the school didn’t seem like could possibly have the past that I had, their eyes hadn’t been witness to some of the horrors, difficulties and sin mine had, at least that’s the way it seemed.
So when Niko’s teacher pulled me aside as I arrived to pick him up from school that day, I quickly became worried by her behavior. She was obviously very upset and I could not imagine what my son might possibly have said or done to have her acting so strange.
“Something very upsetting happened today and I feel I need to discuss it with you before you see your son,” she whispered.
I tried to imagine what the upsetting thing might be, but he was normally such a well-behaved child I couldn’t come up with anything off-the-cuff.
“Do you know what it means “to be mooned?” she asked me very seriously.
Now my heart sank, of course I knew what it meant, but I didn’t know that Niko knew. But wait, she was asking, which meant maybe I shouldn’t know, maybe most Christians didn’t know. Was this some kind of trick question? If I say “yes” is she automatically going to assume we drive around as a family and moon people for fun? No way was I going to admit that I knew, so I just kinda bobbed my head in a few different directions and mumbled under my breath. Strange as I must have looked, she took it as a “no” and decided to define the term for me.
Well, now I was forced to act shocked because what other reaction could I possibly have to such a crude act? The pretense worked, she obviously believed that I was as innocent as she, because she was now looking at me with concern rather than the disgust she would have, had she known that I actually did know what mooning someone was after all.
“Well, we had an incident here today…”
She started to tell me very slowly and calmly, obviously hoping I’d take my cue from her and remain calm in the face of this tragedy.
“… and I hate to have to be the one to tell you this but, well, we’ve had Niko in the principal’s office for most of the afternoon, just kind of talking him through this incident…”
There was that word incident again; at this point, I really just wanted her to spit it out, tell me what happened. I was beginning to think maybe we were being asked to leave the school.
Finally I heard her say, “Niko was mooned on the playground today.”
I honestly had to hold back a chuckle. Oh, what a complete relief.
“Oh, how funny,” I thought to myself.
“Ohhhhh!” I said in shock and grasping my chest. I was stuck in Pretendville with not a clue how to react or what she expected of me.
“You’ll probably want to discuss it with him, we needed you to know we’ve handled the situation on our end to the best of our abilities and we’ll be in prayer that this doesn’t affect him in the future.”
“Thank you,” was about all I could muster.
As we drove home together in the car, I looked at Niko. He didn’t look tramatized. So I smiled, then I asked him how his day was. He said it was good.
“Anything new I should know about?” I asked.
“Nope.” Came the reply. “Oh, something weird did happen, Katie showed me her butt, she’s really weird.”
“Yeah, that is weird,” I said, “Do you want to go get ice cream?”
He nodded excitedly.
I sighed from relief, I had left Pretendville and was now back in familiar territory where ice cream still fixed everything.